Death

Wormwood's patient died in a war and Screwtape was very angry.  He complained that the patient got out too easily.  He said that the sooner people die and the quicker, the worse it is for the devils.  The person then has less time to think about dying and does not blame God or think that it isn't fair.

He said that when a person dies they see God and the angels and no longer have fear and doubt.  Also when they get to heaven they wouldn't want to give it up for any pleasure they could have on earth.

We should think of death not as something really scary, but as the path that brings us Christians to heaven.    

Some Haiku

Oops!

The pot is boiling,

Water just pours out the top

Mom...there's a problem!

Sunset Kisses

The sun is setting.

Over the trees in the wood,

Kissing their branches.

Crazy Naomi

Naomi is strange,

She is trying to feed me

a spoonful of dirt.

The Young Actor

In the fam'ly room

Naomi is acting out

Scenes from Macbeth.  Aughhhhh!


Read the titles of
The poems above this one,
You might be surprised.

P.S. Just not this one^

My Wife's Eyes Are Nothing like the Sun

My wife's eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips;
If snow is white, then her neck is brown;
If hair is wire, then black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses copied, red and white,
But I don't see any roses in her cheeks,
And in some perfumes there is more delight
Than in my wife's halitosis breath which reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well do I know
That music hath a far more beautiful sound;
I grant I never see a goddess
When my wife is walking by.
   And yet by heaven I think my love as rare
   As any beauty she is compared to.
                                    Sonnet CXXX

Saxons and Normans

Guy, who was a page in the court of the Duke who made Wulf and Beorn his guests (Duke William), invited Wulf and his friend to his home which was five miles from the castle.  They went and visited with Guy's parents and sister and talked about the differences between the Norman ways and the Saxons. 

Wulf kept comparing the Saxons and the Normans and thinking about their differences, some of which were good and others were not.  Beorn thought that the Saxons didn't need to change, but Wulf thought that if he was king he would want to make changes to the way they ran things. 

The Normans ate their meals on time and Wulf thought this was a good idea.  If men had full stomachs then they would be more ready to fight, then if they were fighting on empty stomachs, which the Saxons sometimes had to do.

The next day they went to where Duke Harold was waiting with his courtiers and servants.  Duke William paid the ransom price for Harold and then made Harold and his attendants his guests.

My Version of When Icicles Hang by the Wall

In winter when icicles hang from the roof,

And Dick the shepherd blows his horn

And Tom brings logs for the fire,

And the milk gets frozen on its way inside,

When every bone is cold and the snow is high,

Then every night the staring owl sings,

Who, who!

Who, who!
While Joan the dirty cook is cleaning the pot.

When the wind is howling round the house,

And everyone gets the flu,

And birds sit silently in the snow,

And Marian's nose turns red and raw,

When roasted crabs hiss in the bowl,

Then every night the staring owl sings,

Who, who!

Who, who!

While Joan the dirty cook is cleaning the pot.

The Monster

   

One morning at 4:00, the six men saw something huge under the sea that glowed slightly and they wondered what it was.  They couldn't guess, but the incident that occurred a few days later may have given them the answer.
   They were lunging about on deck when one of the guys looked overboard and staring right back at him was one of the ugliest faces he had ever seen!
   The body of the thing was of a dark blueish color and it had white spots all over it.  The face looked something like the face of a bull dog and was very ugly with rows upon rows of razor sharp teeth.  It was fifty feet long and its dorsal fin stuck up out of the water like a knife.
   It looked so funny and placid that the men all laughed at it even though it could easily have killed them all.  The monster swam lazily around them and under them slowly and carefully and the men made fun of it.  Finally one of the men harpooned it and the animal dove under the water.  The rope that was connected to the harpoon snapped like a toothpick and the monster was never seen again.  

Screwtape Letters XXV-XXVI

We should be mere Christians.  We should not make up our own rules and follow them and make everyone else follow them too.  Being a Christian means believing that Jesus died on the cross for our sins and that will never change.  With the help of the Holy Spirit we should try to do what God wants because it pleases Him.

Wormwood's patient was in a courtship with a Christian woman and so Screwtape gave Wormwood some tips on how to proceed.  When you are "in love" you probably would try to ignore the other person's faults, but when you ignore them you keep deep down in your heart a little grudge against them and expect them to recognize the fact that you ignored it.  When they do not you still might not say anything, but eventually it will come out, one way or the other.  When you do this you think you are being unselfish, but really it is just the opposite.

The Escape

   At midnight one night they decided to escape.  They managed to take some bread from the dinner table and then when their duties were finished they went to their room.  When they thought it was safe, they were able to get over the wall and through the moat to the woods where they started traveling towards Duke William's castle.

   They had traveled for about two days when they were so hungry that they decided to try and find someone who would give them some food.  They found their way to a little peasant's hut where the lady of the house gave them bread and some cheese made from goat's milk.

   When they had thanked her profusely they made their way further on their journey.  The next day they came to a monastery where they were welcomed and given food.  When the head monk heard that they had a message for the duke, he gave them some horses and sent on their way with another monk for company.
 
   They told the duke the story of the shipwreck and asked if he would help Harold out of his predicament.  He agreed and said that he would make them his guests as well.
 

My Version of I Have Seen Many Glorious Mornings

I Have Seen Many Glorious Mornings
Flatter the mountain-tops with kingly eye,
Kissing with golden face the green meadows,
Pale streams coated with heavenly magic;
Soon allowed the lowest clouds to ride
With ugly burden on his heavenly face,
And from the miserable world his face hide,
Creeping unseen to west with this disgrace:
Even so my son one early morn was born
With all-triumphant splendor on my head;
But, oh, so sad! he was but one hour mine,
The dark cloud has hid him from me now.
But for this my love did not disdain him;
Suns of the world may die when heaven's sun dies.
                                                        Sonnet XXXIII

The Shipwreck

They sail along and are near the white cliffs of Dover when a squall comes.  They are shipwrecked and some of them are saved but ten men are drowned.  Harold, Wulf, Osgod and Beorn were some of the ones who were saved.  Some fishermen spoted them and one of them recognized Harold so they were captured and taken to the ruler of that land.  Harold is imprisoned to await their captor's decision of what to do to him.  

Wulf and his friend Beorn, however, are made their captor's pages since they had been pages to Harold.  Wulf tried to think of a plan to escape to tell someone where Harold is so they can be rescued.  

My Chick

My chick is fuzzy, cute and round

His eyes are small and chocolate brown.

His feet are silky, small and grey

With toes that on my finger stay.

His brothers keep him warm by night,

They cheep and peep with all their might.

This spreads to him and makes him call,

"Oh mommy take me to the mall!"

My chick has wings that flap and flap,

But leave him on the ground so flat.

He stays and waits and eats his crumbs

And waits until his time will come.
 

My Version of "Tell Me Where does Infatuation Lie?"

Tell me, where is "love" born,
In the heart, or in the brain?
How was it born, how cared for?
Tell me, tell me.
It starts in the eyes,
With lots of gazing; and then dies
In the cradle where it lies.
Let us all ring love's death toll.
I'll begin it-Ding, dong, bell.
All: Ding, dong, bell.
                From The Merchant of Venice

In this case love does not mean real self-sacrificing love, but fancy or "being in love."